Update: I failed to mention that the biological mom became a born again Christian and claims she is no longer a lesbian. That information is mentioned in the article on the men’s web site and in the article where I grabbed the summary.
An interesting new column on a men’s web site caught my attention today: The Rise of Lesbian Custody Battles. The author is comparing bitter lesbian mothers to straight mothers who keep their children from a former partner and co-parent just because they’re angry the relationship has ended:
Mothers are often able to convince courts to allow them to drive decent, loving fathers out of their children’s lives by employing anti-father/pro-mother stereotypes and by portraying dads as abusive or unfit. But there are no abusive males or bad dads in lesbian custody battles. Nevertheless, when two lesbians agree to have a child together and the relationship goes sour, the lesbian biological mom often does the exact same thing to her ex as heterosexual mothers do.
In case you don’t recall this case, here’s a summary:
In a case that has attracted national attention because it highlights the starkly different treatment lesbian and gay parents experience across state lines, Lambda Legal, ACLU of Virginia and Equality Virginia appealed a case in Virginia on behalf of a woman who is being denied visitation with her child despite a clear court order from Vermont.
Janet Miller-Jenkins is seeking to enforce a court order saying she must have regular visitation with the two-year-old daughter she and her former partner, Lisa Miller-Jenkins, had when the two women were joined in a Vermont civil union. After the women ended their relationship, Lisa moved to Virginia with the women’s daughter, and she asked a Vermont court to dissolve the couple’s civil union and sort out custody of the child. When that Vermont court ordered visitation for Janet, Lisa filed a new lawsuit in Virginia court, successfully using that state’s antigay marriage law to have herself declared the child’s sole legal parent. The conflicting court orders — one from Vermont ordering regular visitation for Janet, and the other from Virginia naming Lisa the sole parent — led to the appeal, which asks a state court to overturn the Virginia ruling.
The appeal cites the federal Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act and Virginia’s Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act. In this case, both laws make it clear that the Vermont court alone has jurisdiction in the matter and cannot be interfered with — and the federal kidnapping law requires that the Vermont order be enforced in Virginia.
My exhusband and I have joint legal custody of our children; I have primary placement. That ruling came, not because I employed any anti-male or anti-father tactics, but because I was the primary caregiver for years while my exhusband spent 3/4 of the year traveling the world on a Navy ship.
I’m annoyed by mothers – any mother – who takes a child away from a co-parent out of spite. When you decide to co-parent a child with someone you love, you have to keep in mind that one day you might not love that person anymore. Regardless, even if you don’t love that person, your child still does.
I wonder how all those self-proclaimed feminists will address a biological mother taking a child from a lesbian co-parent out of spite. If they truly support the rights of all women, which woman will they side with in this case?