Hey Gay Men: Your Smelly Vagina Jokes Are Getting Old

A friend of mine posted an update on his Facebook page that read: STEEL VAGINA!!!

Within 2 minutes a self-identified gay man posted the following response: Prolly cuts down on the smell.

And of course, I responded in the thread with:  Leave it to a gay man to make the same tired-ass comment about how a woman’s vagina smells.

I’m so fed up with this kind of sexist and hateful running off-of-the-mouth, especially from a group of people who – in my opinion – make jokes about a woman’s vagina just to prove they’re gay.   A friend of mine once suggested that gay men who repeatedly make jokes about a woman’s vagina do so because they feel the need to justify  why they’re gay. It seems ridiculous to me that one would stoop to such a pathetic tactic, but I’m not a self-loathing queer so I get completely lost in that warped logic.

Months ago, I ended a friendship with a gay man who refused to respect his fellow lesbian sisters.   Without fail, every time we saw him, he cracked a joke about a woman’s vagina: “It smells like fish,” or “I don’t like the taste of vinegar,” or “I don’t wanna have to pinch my nose to eat it.”     I finally asked him, “Do you hear us making jokes about gay men?” His response was “No.”  So I asked, “Then why do you make lesbians the butt of your jokes?”  No response.

I’m not sure what that kind of gay man (yep, I said “that kind”) thinks he’s accomplishing by alienating the female segment of our community, but I can tell ya this much . . . nothing good comes out of that kind of behavior.  That kind of gay man looks stupid – and his jokes seriously lack creativity.

As for the Steel Vaginas comment . . . apparently the update was referring to a comment made in Boomerang by Grace Jones.  She wanted Steel Vaginas to be the name of her new perfume.   It has a nice ring to it, I think.

12 comments

  1. Sskar says:

    Right, because smegma is so pleasant…

  2. Jonathan says:

    Yes, of course it's terribly inappropriate for a gay man to engage in misogynist, racist, and/or homophobic "humor". It's unconsionable and (to me personally) embarrassing. Yet I think your anger might be directed at larger forces of oppression, not simply gay men, even when they/we are in the wrong.

    Here's what I hope — the kind of offensive language you refer to is something that may belong to a fading generation. When I first came out in the 1980s I heard a few gay men who engaged in that behavior. But over time it's died out (at least within my acquaintance).

    What worries me more these days are right-wing demagogues who are eviscerating freedoms, particularly ones that safeguard women's reproductive health, personal privacy, and civil rights (e.g. the right to marry). So hopefully we can drop the nasty "jokes" and take on the true enemy — close-minded haters.

  3. SistersTalk says:

    Unfortunately, Jonathan, most of the gay men I've heard that comment from are under the age of 35. So looks like that kind of misogynist behavior is still alive and well. It could be this area of the country. I'm not sure.

    And I agree, going after people in our own community is a waste of time and energy. We have bigger problems to worry about.

    I wonder why gay men even worry themselves with the smell of a woman's vagina. It's not like they're going anywhere near a vagina anytime soon anyway!

    • peos74 says:

      Simples question. Male gays like what lesbian don’t like. And vice-versa. But it doesn’t need be rude or make bad jokes with ouro les sisters.

  4. i was not going to judging anyone but I don't like make insulting jokes on vagina because I don't want make women mad at me. I hate to make any misguided jokes about that nasty things. I can't judge anyone.

    I am not haters, because I am open to my own people who are very open-minded with their morals and equality. I can't accepted people's negative judgement because they don't care what we are saying to them. I am not going to judging women's issues, because It was not my business. I hate when people makes bad jokes about People who are hearing status, Races, Gender, background, disabilities status, and etc… It has to go away. I will never tell them what they are doing wrong in that joke, because I can see what is their real problem with that horrible jokes about specific people.

    I refused to accept people's horrible joke, but only good joke is good enough. But by Insulting joke etc, they will have problems in ahead of their life. I won't tell them what is the truth ahead of their old age, they might be getting depression, and realized that they are making a mistake by too late.

  5. onya says:

    first i have to say i'm a straight woman so you all will understand where i'm possibly coming from.ditto at post.does anybody else see anything wrong with so many gay men in the fashion industry dictating to us what "beautiful women" look like? really believe that gay men are just as misogynistic as straight men are.They seem to make charicatures of women.I feel that no individual person or groups racism or sexism should go unchallenged.

  6. @outoutout says:

    Right on! I too am sick of gay men hating on women – not so much in my group of friends, but in the wider media (yes, Graham Norton, I'm looking at you). Whether it be jokes about vaginas or "ugly lesbians" or whatever, it's not funny, it's just catty and stupid. I don't blame you for ending that friendship.

  7. Chris says:

    I am not sure who you hang out with, but it sounds like your real issue is with IMMATURE men, not gay men. I am a gay man, and no gay men I know spend their days worrying about vaginas or cracking tired jokes first learned on the elementary school playground.

    Your gay “friends” sound as offensive and misguided as your post. You chose to socialize with some childish jerks, and now you have decided to stereotype and defame an entire group of people based on the actions of the few idiots you decided to hang out with. Unfortunately, this makes you an ignorant jerk, too.

    Grow up, learn better judgment, and get new friends.

  8. Sis says:

    I’m so tired of being politically correct. They’re making me extremely self-conscious being female, I feel like I have a disgusting body and genitalia because of many gay boys being overly critical. I wish the ones we’re talking about would go away and I wish people would stop blindly defending them just because of their “minority” status. Oppressed my fucking foot, they’re in the spotlight. Any hate gays get from now on would just be leveling the playing field, and I couldn’t agree with this blog any more if I tried.

    …I am of course talking about the ignorant faggots that hate vaginas for no fucking reason, not gay boys that are indifferent to vaginas or hang out with girls (that never did anything to me). I’m NOT going to say the same about hetero men that treat women like animals, because I’ve run out of sympathy for gay boys and I no longer have the patients to pretend otherwise (to quote PotC). At least the men that weren’t PRETENDING to be straight didn’t treat me like a piece of useless trash, they were just not for me. (One closeted gay boy hurt me bad once upon a time; emotionally and physically; I thought he was a man, and he ran off with another boy after I gave my heart and soul to him.) Call me homophobic, and I’ll wear the title on a T-shirt with pride. I’ve had enough of them acting like god damn five year olds. Any gay boys reading this? Feeling bad? Discriminated against? Now you know how I’ve felt since puberty because of YOU, gay boys. Now you know how most women have felt since the beginning of fucking time. Grow up. Be a fucking man and tell your people to stop acting like victims just because some people think your “lifestyle” is weird.

    As for this post, bravo~

  9. bestsmell says:

    Your friend seems fairly preoccupied with the vagina to be so put off by it… I personally think women and some men make too much of a 'stink" concerning the beautiful and unique smell of a woman. For enthusiasts like myself. There are few things in the world better. Of course you're always going to have the rogue vagina. That is in serious need of special attention. However, generally if you encounter a clean woman that showers every morning and has been at work all day. (depending on the outside temperature). By the time she returns home. She will have the most lovely scent imaginable. Thereby, producing some of the best sex available for those of us that it like it a bit primal every now and again. So, at the risk of talking too much. I'll just say that all women under the sound of my words. Unless other complications demand medical attention, you should just was your ass and let that be that.

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  11. Animus Vox says:

    They behave that way because they are secretly jealous of all those who possess a vagina because they know that’s what draws all the men in. Gay men hate on women because they envy them to the core because they can have any man that they want. Gay men are borderline racists the men they claim to be attracted to are the masculine jocks but they are few and far between in the gay community. Many gay men don’t understand why straight men love vagina so much when it’s the main reason children exist.

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